With All My Heart?

Girls, we are being tasked with Loving and Living wholehearted.  When I think about the word wholehearted, I don’t know about you, but I get just a little overwhelmed and realize that I have fallen short of this for most of my life in my relationship with Jesus. The Merriam Webster definition of wholehearted is to be completely and sincerely devoted, determined, or enthusiastic.

Whoa, completely devoted.  Am I completely devoted? Are you completely devoted? Are we completely devoted all of the time?

Girls, it is so easy for us to fake it. Anybody else out there ever thought “fake it till you make it” or something similar?  Our culture teaches us from a very young age to look and be perfect from magazines to TV to Social Media.  We spend so much time making sure we look the part that we forget to check on our heart.

The day before Thanksgiving my mom died from a short battle with Pancreatic Cancer.  From September 26, day of diagnosis, until weeks after the funeral, when asked how I was doing the answer was always “fine” while acting like everything was fine.  My mom even texted Matt to find out how I was since she knew I was not “fine”.  My mom was a follower of Christ so I knew that when she passed it would be a home-going to Heaven.  Even with that knowledge, clearly I was not fine.  I was preparing to say goodbye to my mom until we meet again as she said “by the crystal river” which brought sadness and self imposed isolation.  I felt I had to be strong for Jackson, Elli, Wilson, and my Daddy.  Therefore, I had to be “fine”.  

As women I feel that we are conditioned to act fine and perfect no matter the situation.  When we do this we are putting ourselves in a dangerous position.

As I reflect on my walk as a Christian, I have also acted “fine” and played the part.  I have done all the right things outwardly, but not actually given my whole heart to the Father.  I would tithe, go to Sunday School, go to church, say I would pray for people, and even talk to others about their walk.  All the while I was not examining my life for sin, spending time in the Word, or growing closer to God.   But from the outside I sure looked like I was a rockstar Christian.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of the bones of the dead and every kind of impurity.  In the same way on the outside you seem righteous to people, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” Matthew 23:27-28 

On the outside we can look beautiful and righteous, but on the inside we can be so ugly. Instead of our heart being fully His, we can be consumed with selfishness, hatefulness, greed, or any other sin you can think of.  

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature because I have rejected him.  Humans do not see what the Lord sees, for humans see what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 

Girls, we cannot make ourselves pretty enough or act good enough to create our own worth.  God knows our hearts.  We can dress ourselves up and pretend to be a good follower; we may fool the people around us and fool ourselves, but we will never fool our Creator.  

1 Chronicles 28:9 “As for you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father, and serve him wholeheartedly and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands the intention of every thought.  If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you abandon him, he will reject you forever.

As we begin this journey together in 2019, let’s get down to being wholeheartedly His.  This will not be an easy task, but it will be worth it.  For sometime my motto has been “Find Joy in the Journey”, but this year I think it should be “Grace and Grit”.  

If I am going to be wholeheartedly His, I am going to need His grace everyday. Every. Single. Day.  Also, I am going to have to display true grit.  Grit can be defined as courage and resolve.  I will need to resolve to give Him my whole heart, and even more challenging I am going to have to have the courage to examine my heart for anything and everything that keeps me from being totally all in for Jesus.

You see not only are we hurting ourselves by not giving our whole heart to Jesus, we hurt everyone around us.  We are not effective at living out the gospel call on our lives and spreading the good news if we are not completely His.  

May the lyrics from Hillsong United resonate with each of us and be our battle cry as we run into 2019 determined to give our all to Jesus.

A thousand times I’ve failed

Still Your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

I’m caught in Your grace

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing You praise

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul

Lord I give You control

Consume me from the inside out

Lord, let justice and praise

Become my embrace

To love you from the inside out

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing You praise

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

This year let’s love God from the inside out so that we can be used by Him for His glory. 

This year let’s step out on faith and give our whole heart to Jesus. 

Father,

You are a good, good God.  I pray as we run into 2019 expecting to love and live wholehearted that you will give us grace every single day.  I pray that you will give us the grit needed to give our whole heart to you and the courage to examine our hearts.  May you use us Father to share your goodness and saving grace with the lost.  Amen.

My name is Brandy. I married my high school sweetheart, and we have been married for 21 years!  We have three children Jackson (14), Elli (9), and Wilson (9). God saved me when I was 9 years old, and called us into the ministry in 2001.  Since excepting the call, I have had the privilege to watch all three of my children give their lives to Christ, support my husband in his calling, and be a Pastor’s Wife.  I am the Special Education Lead Teacher at an inner city school.  I am a marathon runner, avid reader, and lover of broken people.  My prayer this year for my life is to dig deeper in the Word than ever before which leads me to a stronger relationship with my Father and makes an impact for His glory while finding joy in the journey!

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