Hello ladies! There is no other story I will be able to share at the moment, but this one:
On the last December 30th, my husband asked me to divorce. After living half of my life with this man, he came to me and said: I can no longer live with you anymore.
Of course, a marriage does not end overnight and of course, each one has to share the parcel of mistakes made. But I was fighting … Alone and in vain.
I am absolutely sure that one of the main reasons for this to happen was my faith in Jesus. My conversion happened after my marriage. A while after this, he came up to me and said: I do not like the woman you’ve become!
The day he left home I cried. I cried a lot. I cried remembering the past that we had built, I wept thinking about what would be my future. I felt fear, anguish, anger, bitterness … I asked myself: What am I going to do with my life now? After 10 years without work, taking care of my house, my son, without completing my college… Will I have to start my life again at 40 Lord?
Speaking of Him, where is He in the midst of all these events of my life?
He’s never been so close!!!!
This year, during our Bible study about the qualities of the fruit of the spirit, I was able to learn some incredible things.
I learned that the opposite of love, is not hate. The opposite of love is rejection.
According to the dictionary, rejection means “non-acceptance, refusal, repulsion, disapproval.”
Being rejected hurts. It hurts a lot. In the midst of this whirlwind of feeling and questioning I began to talk to God … What kind of person am I Lord? Am I someone who is not loved even by my own husband? Why all of this is happening to me? I have sought You so much, I have been trying to live my life according to your principles… What exactly do You want to teach me through all this?
That’s when He told me: My daughter, do you know this pain? I know it. You feel that way because of one person, but I was rejected by the all nation I came to save!
I was not just rejected. I was humiliated, spat on, whipped, ridiculed and crucified … And all this because I LOVE YOU! I died for love to you!!!!
How could I fully understand the value of being a chosen daughter of my Father if I did not experience a little finger of what rejection truly means? After witnessing so many miracles performed by Jesus, the people still rejected Him and condemned Him to death and death on a cross.
In the midst of my storm, I still heard someone to say: See? I knew that living in the church and living for God that way, would do it! You have destroyed your marriage.
Then something started to scream inside my chest, and alone inside of my house, I cried to the Lord: If all that is happening in my life is because of Your name Jesus, I accept and I want to tell you that there is nothing that can make me turn back!!!! There is no other in the first place in my life besides You but if some day will have, take out, please! Because only Your love never fails!!!! (1 Corinthians 13: 8)
From this day on, I stopped looking at the circumstances. I stopped regretting what happened and began to focus on JESUS and my ETERNAL LIFE with Him.
I remembered that 80, 100 years living here on earth is just the tip of the iceberg. My eternal life is all I’m not seeing beneath the surface, as Rick Warren well said in his book “Purpose driven life”.
So, maybe you may be wondering … But then, have you settled your life?
No. My life has never been so uncertain. I do not know what will happen with me tomorrow.
But I know that “Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments.”
(Deuteronomy 7: 9)
He said to me in His Word, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
James 1: 2-3 says: “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
And verse 12 says “Blessed is the man who endures temptation, for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”
We all go through Struggles. I do not know which one is yours. But I know that “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”(Matthew 7: 8)
The Lord also said, “Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you. “(Jeremiah 29: 12-14a)
“The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him, He also will hear their cry and save them. The Lord preserves all who love Him. “(Psalm 145: 18-20a).
As I am His daughter and knowing that my tribulations also come because of His name, I know that the fight is no longer mine, it is His.
Jesus has made it personal and I can rest in chaos and believe that in each new day, in each new morning, another portion of his grace and mercy will be poured out on my life.
If in the midst of your tribulations, you are still asking where He is, I would say, “He is a prayer away.”
May God bless you.
This testimony is from a precious contributor who wishes to remain anonymous.